À une passante

My old brother-in-arms kept the photos from the summer. It was there: the heat, the hate, and the unequaled beauty of it all. I got a little knot in my stomach from it until I realized the documented instances were discrete and there was no way I could convince myself that the entire summer had been such a sweet and sweaty experience. Did I hate most of it? At the time, yes. Now I want it back. Or maybe just the sunshine. Paris, change, so we can sleep under the stars and take each other next to the water. Change. Tell me the air will turn beautiful. Fuck it.

We sleep next to each other and wake in the gray of morning. He said we are strings, and not a chord. That is fine. I just want spring to be here.

We all fall in love with strangers, yes. So does Baudelaire.

To a Passerby
The deafening street howls around me.
Long, thin, in great mourning, majestic grief,
A woman passed, with a sumptuous hand
Raising, swinging the border and the hem;

Agile and noble, with her leg like a statue.
Me, I drank, contorted in excess,
In her eye, pallid heaven where the hurricane formed,
The sweetness that captivates and the pleasure that kills.

A flash of lightning…then night! —Elusive beauty
Whose look has made me suddenly return to life,
Shall I no longer see you in eternity?

Elsewhere, quite far from here! Too late! Perhaps never!
But I know not where you go, you know not where I go,
Oh you who I would have loved, oh you who knew it!

À une passante
La rue assourdissante autour de moi hurlait.
Longue, mince, en grand deuil, douleur majestueuse,
Une femme passa, d'une main fastueuse
Soulevant, balançant le feston et l'ourlet;

Agile et noble, avec sa jambe de statue.
Moi, je buvais, crispé comme un extravagant,
Dans son oeil, ciel livide où germe l'ouragan,
La douceur qui fascine et le plaisir qui tue.

Un éclair... puis la nuit! — Fugitive beauté
Dont le regard m'a fait soudainement renaître,
Ne te verrai-je plus que dans l'éternité?

Ailleurs, bien loin d'ici! trop tard! jamais peut-être!
Car j'ignore où tu fuis, tu ne sais où je vais,
Ô toi que j'eusse aimée, ô toi qui le savais!
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My soul freezes in this shit.