La Fontaine de Sang

I took my virgin voyage these week with two sailors and an open heart. We sat on the water in the sun and I managed to clear my mind completely for the first time in months and months. R. says the sensory overload converges into a beautiful, perfect oblivion. This is what I wanted. I love it, I love him and I will always love him. The past few days have been all pollen and sleep for him and in the meantime I make connections and bite my nails. I will be gone soon.

The Fountain of Blood
It sometimes seems to me that my blood pours in streams,
As a fountain in rhythmic sobs.
I hear it well which pours with a long murmur,
But I feel in vain to find the wound.

Through the city, like on a tournament field,
It goes, transforming the cobblestones into islets,
Quenching the thirst of every creature,
And everywhere coloring nature in red.

I have often asked specious wines
To allay for a day the terror that eats away at me;
Wine renders the eye clearer and the ear more perceptive!

I have searched for an oblivious sleep in love;
But love is for me only a mattress of needles
Made in order to give drink to these cruel girls!

La Fontaine de Sang
Il me semble parfois que mon sang coule à flots,
Ainsi qu'une fontaine aux rythmiques sanglots.
Je l'entends bien qui coule avec un long murmure,
Mais je me tâte en vain pour trouver la blessure.

À travers la cité, comme dans un champ clos,
Il s'en va, transformant les pavés en îlots,
Désaltérant la soif de chaque créature,
Et partout colorant en rouge la nature.

J'ai demandé souvent à des vins captieux
D'endormir pour un jour la terreur qui me mine;
Le vin rend l'oeil plus clair et l'oreille plus fine!

J'ai cherché dans l'amour un sommeil oublieux;
Mais l'amour n'est pour moi qu'un matelas d'aiguilles
Fait pour donner à boire à ces cruelles filles!
---
The world is caving in and I don't care.